31 A Rob Zombie Film (2016) Score: 1/10

31 (2016) 

Director: Rob Zombie

Writer: Rob Zombie

Cast: Sheri Moon Zombie…Charly

Jeff Daniel Phillips…Roscoe Pepper

Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs…Panda Thomas

Meg Foster…Venus Virgo

Kevin Jackson…Levon Wally

Malcolm McDowell…Father Murder

31 by Rob Zombie is a mess of a film that is not worth time or usage of energy to actually watch. The film provides no plot,  unlikable characters with no motivation, and a lack of cinematographic skill. For those who have taken to the time to read my previous review you will now that I appreciate a well crafted story.  31 by all means is the antithesis of story telling. What we get is a bunch of carnival folk abducted with the sole purpose of being hunted animals for “clown” in a game devised by a bunch of senior citizens. The film is essentially composed of 75.00% fluff where the first 10 minutes is a long drawn out monologue that is more boring than scary. The next 30 minutes is an introduction to our characters which can be summed up in the following words: drug addicts, losers, uninteresting. The rest of the film is Rob Zombie’s overuse of shaky cam to give the illusion of action and or terror.

This film has no redeeming aspects what so ever. I would have appreciated the film starting with 15-20 minutes of watching our main characters actually working their carnival games and shows. This would allow the audience to gain some characterization and form an emotional attachment to our would be victims. The killer clowns themselves seem to be more cartoons than psychopathetic murders every time I saw these clowns I sighed knowing the following formula was set. The formula for 2/3 of the film went as follows: 1. Poor dialogue indicating that the characters need to escape 2. Present Clown 3. Situation opens where Clown is vulnerable and heroes barely escape until next area. The problem is that all these aspects fell flat, at no time did I ever feel any dread, tension, or even unease.

You may think to yourself that the gore of the film may be a saving grace among the trash that is this film. You would be wrong. The gore effects or lack thereof was another disappointment. Despite this film being rated R it seemed so restrained that it makes on wonder if this was truly Rob Zombie’s vision or if money and time were more of a factor. I whole heartedly do not recommend this film to anyone.

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